In Sacramento on Saturday, thousands of insurgents stomped across the lawn wearing hokas, even though they had to take off their protective down vests, as the autumn sun beat down on them.
With chants of “No Kings,” many of these chaotic protesters spilled from the sidewalks into the streets, as if the curb had no containment power and no meaning in the anarchist’s mind.
It is clear that social order has collapsed. The reporter wondered where it would all end. Next they will ask passersby to honk their horns? Can they dare to make a fiery speech?
The answer came all too quickly, when within minutes they discovered clear evidence of an anti-fascist underground organization organized by U.S. Atty. General Pam Bondi is warning us.
The “Raging Grannies of Sacramento” set up the stage and tested the microphones before showering the audience with their songs. They were wearing coordinating aprons! They had a printed sign, one with a QR code. If a grandma who knows how to use a QR code isn’t dangerous, I don’t know who is.
Ellen Schwartz, 82, told me that the group, founded in Canada, operates without a recognized leader. In her words, “an international free-form granny group,” and I wrote it all down for Kash Patel.
In the blink of an eye, they took Dick Van Dyke and Julie Andrews’ most famous duet, and chopped it into a “super insensitive, vulnerable, racist, narcissistic president.”
Not to be outdone, two-year-old Leah also showed up, first clinging to her mother, then waddling around as if she owned the place. This kid is one to watch out for.
Leah is not yet able to talk about her political beliefs, so her parents gave me insight into why she is there.
“I don’t know if a civilization that allows protests will continue for a long time, so I want her to at least have that memory,” said her father, Neon, who asked that his last name not be used. Like many Americans, he is a little hesitant to draw attention to authority.
Leah’s mother, Carla, had a more hopeful outlook.
“America is a people, and I want to continue to bring her here so she understands that she’s part of something bigger: peace and justice,” she said, walking off to see the dinosaurs.
Dinosaurs, yes. And a tiger. And a rooster. And a unicorn. I think even cow hugging chipmunks is now illegal in most parts of the South.
Yes, folks, the Portland Frog started something. The place was full of inhuman participants who behaved like animals. They were dancing freely, stomping around, and saying some really mean things about President Trump.
Meanwhile, the smell of grilling meat was undeniable. Everyone was eating hot dogs! They had grilled onions! There were immigrants everywhere selling it (and it was delicious).
I spoke to the Tyrannosaurus and asked why it had gone.
“If we don’t do something soon, our democracy will disappear,” Jim Short told me from inside his suit.
His wife Patti wore coordinating suits, she in brown and he in green. Were they not worried about being labeled anti-American for being here, as House Speaker Mike Johnson and others claim?
“I’m not scared,” Patty said. “Am I Antifa or a felon or what?”
“Hamas?” Jim asked. “Or illegal aliens?”
“I think people need more history,” Patti said.
I agree.
And the day millions of average Americans turn out to be peaceful defenders of democracy may be part of it again.
